Sonia Grossi, You are Cancelled

Women in Business who are Cancelled: How to be Authentic when you are being Cancelled

Do I ever have stories to share with you today... I was recently cancelled online. Uh-oh.

This is what happens when we express and show up authentically. To be yourself means to exclude yourself, apparently. 

Being yourself means being rejected for who you are.

Being authentic online means being cancelled by Instagram. 

My recent account on Instagram was disabled because I breached its community guidelines.  I WAS LIVID. I was furious. I didn’t know what being suspended or disabled online meant until I researched. My friends started asking me questions. What happened? Why did Instagram ban you? Where did you go? What are you going to do now? Are you going to fight it?

I spoke up about intimacy, love, relationships, and power, and that is considered $exually explicit content, or that I am selling s*xual services. I’ve seen other Instagram accounts, and I don’t come nearly CLOSE to s*xually explicit content. 

The Meta Universe took away my power without warning, removed my content online, and I lost all of my followers. There is no one to talk to other than to submit a form explaining why it's a mistake. No confirmation email about the status or how long I need to wait; just disabled. I lost all the images, messages, and relationships I had built for 5+ years.

This has happened to amazing artists like our fellow Canadian poet, Rupi Kaur, for speaking up about her experiences with men in her books to inform the younger generation of the dangers of the patriarchy and promote safe consent, as a few examples.

These companies have too much power and are going after the wrong people because of their algorithms. Although a safety feature to protect its users (and an essential feature), it was the wrong move. 

It all proves my point. The more I take a stand for what I believe in and express myself in a way that supports people, the more I get criticized or cancelled in the process. The more it barks up resistance. The more others try to control what you say or don’t say.

If we look at the relationship triangle below, for instance, here is what Instagram (company) did:

I spoke up about s*x and intimacy, and my power was taken away without warning or evidence of how I breached the guidelines. I have nothing to do but appeal to get my account back and wait. 

Do you see the problem here?

Often, within the triangle, one gets used over another. It’s an interesting phenomenon that many of us are unaware of and is playing out daily.

It’s toxic. Think of the triangle in business, work, and even personal relationships.

Where do you see this playing out in the world?

• Dating…. 

• Business…

• Friendships…

• Family…

• Romantic partners…

Yes..yes…yes…

So what will I do next? What is the How?

I will continue to be myself and show up without hesitation online and offline.

We have A TON OF problems in the world right now, and speaking about intimacy and educating the masses about s*x is something we can continue to have conversations around. 

We have generations of people who are now adults and were raised with certain beliefs about what being in a relationship means. Yet, many people seek therapy or mental health services to support their relational challenges. 

I see a ton of dysfunction and toxicity within relationship dynamics, and many people feel unfulfilled in their relationships with nowhere to turn or even what to do about it.

I am still determining how much involvement I want with using Instagram moving forward.

For now, I will talk about my learnings, growth and share tips on LinkedIn.

I will not back down just because people think they have the upper hand or that I NEED something from them in order to survive. I am resilient and have overcome my own set of challenges.

My coach said earlier this year, right before I made a massive decision, Sonia., you are willing to stand alone in this fight. Even if it means people hate you for it.

I leave you with this... very Brené Brown of me.

“I will stand alone if I have to for the greater good, even if that means you no longer support or believe in me. I have people to meet who are ready for me.”

 - Sonia Grossi

#authenticity #cancelled #cancelledculture #takingastand #belonging #relationships