Who you surround yourself with matters
Hi my people!
I just got back from vacation in Cuba and there are a ton of opinions about Cuba.
Here a few I've heard:
The food isn't great. The accommodations aren't excellent. The beaches are beautiful. The people ask you for tips galore. Too many Canadians. Not authentic enough. Service is too slow. Blah Blah Blah.
Either way, I enjoy Cuba a lot. It gives me exactly what I need and more for a reasonable price. A killer tan, relaxation, sun, beach, meet new people and spending time with myself to reflect on my life.
I am writing this to you because I had the time to reflect last week while on vacation and I'm glad I did it. I journaled about it too.
I've been feeling the nudge for a while now about what my life could look with a group of supportive, encouraging and fun people. Everyone has a different version of their ideal group of people.
I started to build my new support system at the crash of 2015. It's taken A LOT of work, time and energy. A lot of trial and error. A lot of rejection. A lot of disappointments and failed attempts to connect. It also allowed me to learn about myself, what I want, and what I like about others and qualities that feel good to me.
I feel like we all gravitate to our comfort zone and comfortable groups of people, comfortable social circles, our family, and people out of convenience.
It's why many of use choose romantic relationships and partners we don't necessarily know if they are the one, it's why we keep friends since high school that no longer fulfill us or give us what we need, and why we go out and do things we don't enjoy anymore. It's Okay. We are human. We get to choose, and the choice comes down to I'd rather be with people than be alone.
Since I began the work of being a coach, I've met a TON of people from all walks of life. The most significant learning that I'm working towards is to remove my judgement to the table. This is extremely difficult and yet necessary. If we want to evolve and live in a world that has more love than hate, that's just one ingredient in the secret sauce.
I started to see why people keep other's around even though they aren't happy with them entirely. There is a huge difference when you are with someone out of convenience versus out of pure and authentic choice, and I love being around this person because of the way you feel.
Key point: No one can make you feel any which way without your consent.
It's also not someone's responsibility to make you happy. I love listening to couples be like, "she/he makes me so happy." No one can make you happy. You make yourself happy. Plain and simple.
During my trial and error phase of learning more about the types of people I want in my life, I began realizing how long I've gone without my people. My true people. How long I've been in the dark about all of this - my community of people. My people who have my best interest at heart and I don't need to change a thing for them because they accept all my flaws and all and still love me anyway.
Here are a few things I love in others:
- I love others who lead and take the initiative
- I love people who are funny
- I love people who like to laugh
- I love people who are vulnerable
- I love people who are fun and not necessarily in the party kind of way
- I love people who are open minded
- I love people who listen to you
- I like people who are emotionally supportive, empathetic and allow other's into their worlds
- I love people who find me funny
- I love deep intimate conversations
- I love connecting and connection
- I love people who don't judge themselves and others
- I like people who are free and unleashed to be themselves
- I love people who are into personal growth
- I love people who aren't afraid to be seed
- I love it when I am with people who reciprocate efforts
- I love people who share similar values, like exploration, relaxation, spontaneity, adventure and who are FEARLESS
- I love people who don't make fun of me and see the good in everything
- I love people who are not superficial
- I love people who don't feel the need to impress those around them based on their outer appearances
- I love wacky people
- I love CONFIDENT people
- I love people who know what they want and go after it
- I love people who talk about what they want
- I love people who don't gossip about others
OK, so the list can go on and on as you can see…
This is all information I began to put together after living my life in a certain way to keep up with the Joneses sort of speak. I see so many people around me now trying to keep up, and they aren't truly happy, just passing the time. This isn't all of us; let me make that very clear; however, it's the majority.
I took the time for myself, took a LONG break from trying to get into a relationship, trying to keep a bunch of girlfriends that were very different than me, left jobs that were draining me, and figured out what the heck was underneath it all.
What's your current relationship with the people around you?
- Do you have friends that are just OK and cause a lot of stress?
- Are you in constant competition mode with people? You need a better job, education better boyfriend/girlfriend?
- Are you around a lot of people who have a ton of opinions about you?
- Are you around people who always point out the bad in you and not the good?
- Are you questioning if the people you've chosen are your people?
- Are they interested in your well-being or really good at sabotaging your success and growth? Do you even know the difference?
Let's chat. I work one on one with women and men who have these questions and are seeking their PEOPLE in their work and personal lives. It's all on the table. It's all welcome. Let's get real about what you are seeking to find in life.
Trust me, I know there is a better way because I've done the work and I see its impact every day. I feel like I can be myself and my people LOVE it. Like a fat kid likes cake. It feels different. It's a different energy. It's vibrant and exciting energy, filled with curiosity and love. There is no staleness to the conversation, no holding back, and even differences of opinions aren't taken personally. My relationships are deep and intimate. We see each other like in-to-me-see (intimacy). It's a beautiful thing, and for the first time, I love learning about others, and I love them getting to know me.
Its a community of people who love you and want each other to succeed. What does that look like for you?
Book a complimentary discovery call here and let's chat about where you want to focus your time an energy.
I want to hear it all because it's my superhuman power.
To book your complimentary discovery call - click here
xoxo, Sonia
Coach + Activator