We are missing the mark...and it ain't pretty

What are we doing?Lately, my weekends consist of learning, personal growth, and skill practice. Usually, I like to take myself out of my comfort zone and just BE instead of running the list of action items I need to do on the weekend, even though that still needs to get done..at some point.Not too long ago, I assisted in a coaching course through the Coaches Training Institute. The commitment as an assistant is to be present and available on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Part of the assistant role is to participate in some of the group activities as well as handle any administrative responsibilities for the weekend.What I am noticing since this experience and going back into the “real world” is how much we don’t listen to each other. When we live in a world where there is a ton of value in providing solutions to problems, it seems as though sitting back, listening and connecting with another being appears to be awkward and uncomfortable. We are trained to provide solutions to problems, give advice and opinions, demonstrate our professional experience and give value. If not, we feel inadequate. By doing so and continuing to be this way, we are missing the mark.As I watched this wonderful group practice their coaching skills beautifully with good intentions I might add, it brought me back to my first class on day one of my coach training journey. I still remember how uncomfortable it was to sit there, listen to someone and not give my opinion! I also remember being the first coachee in the group exercise and how each coach approached me with "curious" questioning. It was kind of hilarious. Everyone’s trying to coach the problem and not the person. It’s as if the problem is the problem. As a professionally trained coach who has paid clients, and practiced multiple times with practice clients, I notice the difference and how ineffective coaching the problem is for a person’s growth. This is such a massive shift to be able to sit back and listen to someone with your full attention to them.If we looked at every single person on the planet as resourceful, creative and whole enough to solve their problems, how we would interact with people?Would we still jump in and give them our opinion?Would we shift the focus to ourselves because we are uncomfortable with what they said?Would we see the beauty within the person in front of us?What would we acknowledge them for?What would we say to them instead?What would we offer?What would we ask permission for?What would the way we treat others look like?What would our expectations be?What would we be curious about?What would our relationships look like?What patterns would we stop repeating within our relationships?For me, I finished the rescuer pattern in my relationships, and it’s so liberating!This is huge. Simple and yet we make it so complicated. To be able to look at someone and say, “I’m here for you, what do you want to do next?” is WAY different than me telling someone what I think they should do. As we continue to move in a fast-paced world that demands more and more of our attention, we need to go back to the basics. We need to focus on creating resilient leaders who are positive, inhabit a healthy mindset, communicate as a coach, connect with others, empathize, see other perspectives, and be open-minded. We live in a world where resilience is imperative and necessary to thrive. Going back to basics means figuring out who we are and what we want before we inherited beliefs around us that were not our own. Letting go of our ego thoughts that hold us back and connect to ourselves and others. I can’t tell you how many times I come across the very statement through my 1:1 coaching and workshops that people are starving for connection more than ever.Being a learner in coach training at CTI and now assisting in the courses, I’ve never felt so at home and safe. I can fail, and it won’t be seen as wrong, more so, what did I learn? I feel free to be myself without judgment and criticism. I feel as though I am enough and I don’t need to prove myself or overextend myself to anyone. There’s a connection that builds so quickly and deeply within the three-days. No gossip, no drama, no negativity. Well, maybe a little negativity depending on what the topic of conversation is about! I’ve learned so much since my journey of coaching and delivering workshops to various companies and people.I deliver workshops to organizations that are fun, experiential, and provide practical tools to use in everyday life. In every workshop I design and deliver, a huge focus is connection and listening to each other for active participation. There is ample opportunity to share, provide feedback, listen to each other, ask questions, and feel safe to be themselves. I’m here to point out the best in each person no matter how little they think of themselves.I hold the space for vulnerability. I empower people to be better leaders and to recognize their strengths within themselves. I leave any judgement at the door so that I am present to the group and serve in the best way possible. I design an environment that allows for trial and error, to be seen and heard, and to leave with a new perspective. I acknowledge the leader within when they say something brilliant. I create an environment where it’s encouraged to try something different and be uncomfortable. I move people around the room and am not a fan of bums in seats for long periods of time. I incorporate mindful techniques to get out of our heads and into our bodies.This is where real transformation begins. I’ve seen it over and over again, and it’s usually a lot simpler than we make it out to be with our over-analytical and solution-oriented minds. Let’s go back to the basics. Reach out to me at sonia@soniagrossi.com to learn more about my workshops and how I can help your organization/teams be productive and effective, engaged in their work, and develop resiliency. I create an experience using all the senses with positive energy for the learning to flow freely. I connect your teams in a safe space and equip them with the tools and confidence to move to their next level of impact.-Sonia GrossiSonia Grossi Coaching + Consulting Co.