It’s amazing how much we can accomplish when we change our habits and thinking patterns. It seems like common sense and yet, many of us fail to put this into practice because we are comfortable staying on autopilot.
Autopilot is a state of mind (or lack of a state of mind) and happens to us all in which we become comfortable with the familiar, yet in denial with ourselves and of our existing circumstances that things can change for the better if only we push ourselves, step outside of comfort, let go of certain people and things, and try things we never would have thought we would or could do. This is how we evolve because human beings are meant to evolve and grow.Life is supposed to get better, not worse. We are allowed to raise our standards after each lesson from which we learn. Our hearts are supposed to be more open over time, rather than closed, and our mind is supposed to expand instead of being closed minded. I’ve learned that being vulnerable is definitely not a weakness and that being authentic is the way I choose to be in my relationships. Sometimes you have to break certain patterns you’ve been repeating over and over and stop with the excuses and say, “this is the way I am”. The truth is, if you are feeling unhappy with the same things happening over and over again, then look to yourself and identify what you can do to change it and go the way you want and need. Vulnerability and authenticity are high values of mine so if you choose to live with both of these values, you are my kind of people. I’ve always had these two values high on my list because it’s how I connect with others and what feels good. Anything less seems superficial and I’m not interested in it. Took me awhile to figure it out though… My generation admits that they will cancel on their friends if something else comes up that’s better. That’s superficial. If you are OK with having friends by numbers rather than friends who are quality and maybe not so many of them, all the power to you! Let me know how that’s going for you down the road.
I recently facilitated Professional Fundamentals Workshop for 22 new graduates in their first corporate roles fresh out of University. It was such a fun and amazing experience to be the leader of this group as they are so willing to learn from someone who can mentor and coach them through their challenges. I strongly believe that as important as formal education is perceived for the millennial generation, sometimes, it fails to give us what we really need to succeed. It is up to those who are willing to teach, coach, and train them with good habits, personal development, and allow them to make mistakes so they can learn from them with support and guidance. This group challenges you, is willing to participate and learn which are my kind of people.
Speaking of being challenged, I signed up for a very important course at the end of February for 3 full days on LIFE. That’s right, I’m going to be learning about life and discover more about myself so I can live an extraordinary one rather than one that’s mediocre and following a path everyone seems to follow. Don’t get me started on what following the same path everyone else follows means to me because you probably won't like what I have to say. This course is going to need my vulnerability and open mind with about 200 strangers for 3 full days and evenings, so let’s just say I’m looking forward to what I discover and will most likely let you know about some of those findings!
Now that I have a strong momentum in my business, I’ve had to learn how to schedule my time more effectively. No more late night and weekend working. No more neglecting exercise and fun for the sake of meeting a project deadline over and over again. I’ve set a schedule where it includes work, self-care, and fun all in the same week without compromising my evenings and weekends. When I was working around the clock, I found myself depleted and stressed which didn't allow me to show up powerfully as I really am and it affected my work. Not anymore!
I realized I am a perfectionist, control freak and high-achiever and because of these saboteurs, would beat myself up every time I felt like I did not “achieve” the outcome I desired. This happened a lot. So I changed my thinking patterns on this and said to myself, you are learning, building and creating. It’s going to take time and practice to master your craft and feel comfortable doing it. Instead of fixating on the outcome, I look at how I can make the next one even better. After all, life is about getting better if you look for ways to do that.
Last but not least, asking for help is something I am getting far better at than before. I’m not really sure why I had so much trouble with this in the past, however, asking for help is the best thing you can do for yourself. I hired a coach to help me with my own stuff and help me focus on my dreams in a REAL way. Not the way we tend to think we are doing it. I used to think that if I complied with life, my job, friends, family and potential partner prospects, my life would just work out like everyone else’s seemed to be working. I quickly realized in my mid-twenties that my standards were low, I needed to set boundaries with the people around me and I wasn't taking responsibility for my stuff. I know so many people around my age group who think they don’t need help and yet 10 years go by and they are still in the same place. Life is long in theory, but we also don’t know how long we have.
Needless to say I’ve been pushing and growing and it's been amazing. I feel like I am making a difference and influencing people to be better and helping them realize they actually want to be better and knowing what that looks like. I want the world to have more leaders who go after what they want, fight the fear, take risks, and make their lives happen. I have programs and workshops that can help with that!
Feel free to contact me and let me know what’s going on in your world and what’s stopping you from getting what you want.
-Sonia
