Be careful what you wish for

Trust me…

I was someone who sincerely believed that I never got what I asked for in life. You know those people. They are the ones who say after winning a prize, “Oh I won!? I never win anything”. When in reality, you know they win stuff all the damn time.

I never thought it was possible to receive everything I had asked for until much reflection as I’ve taken Labour Day weekend to reflect on my career, love life, friendships, and family. I took myself out on dates, went to the CNE, cooked a fabulous dinner that I can now cook for others (Sonia approved), cleaned, took a Yoga class with a fantastic instructor BTW, purchased Fall clothes using my besties discount card, reorganized my wardrobe, Netflix (How to Get Away with Murder released season 3!) and came up with a plan for the last four months of 2017. OMG really! 2017 only has four months left? Didn’t I just celebrate it’s New Years not too long ago?

Anyhoo… I now have proof of how important being specific in life is IF and ONLY IF you take the time to visualize. I have been envisioning what my life is going to look like in the next five years and believe me when I first started these vision board type of exercises; I didn’t even honestly believe my vision party. I was like, OK I want to be successful, making tons of money, have a team to pay, work on contract for multiple organizations, be in a loving relationship, own my own beautiful and expensive loft in Toronto, upgrade my car (I still love my 2012 civic OK), have a six pack of abs, and eat whole grains and seeds throughout the day. Although all available, also a lot of work to get there and my over achiever in me wanted it all at once. The truth is, Sonia isn’t exactly 20 years old anymore, and I only have enough energy in the day to take me so far.

See the fact is that when you start digging deep, learning about yourself, taking the time to understand your triggers and insecurities, looking objectively at your past, failures, and successes only then do you then realize what is really going on.

This is what I learned, when you want something or when you have been asking for something to happen for a long time, I can almost bet on it that you have received what you have asked for. I know this because I have proof and I also have proof from other people I know. Last year when I started my entrepreneurial venture it was hard, to say the least. I was not accustomed to not having an income since I was 16, and at 28 I was making $0 each month. This was a huge struggle because I was pulling from my savings which I had worked my ass off to save for a “house, ” and I didn’t know how long I could continue before I went back into the 9-5 world which was not high on the priority list. However, I prevailed, and I worked on getting clients, built a website, figured out my messaging and how I wanted to train and coach people and organizations. I went to networking events which I never did when I had a 9-5 job and stretched myself to get out there and be someone different. I hired coaches (2), took courses and workshops, I reached out to people I had worked with in my past, I started developing new friendships because let’s face it, I was in need of change, and I had exhausted all of my options.

Fast forward a year later, and I have a contract position training staff on service excellence to a great organization doing wonderful things for people. I have clients who value my training and coaching services. I’m not living off of my savings anymore (yay). I receive positive feedback everywhere I go, and people want more. I’m being asked to facilitate workshops and retreats for leaders, and now it comes far easier than before. Before it was a struggle and now it just flows. Did I think it was possible a year ago? Not so much but I also started asking for what I wanted and low and behold, it comes.

Life happens and moves forward when you believe it will happen. It might not happen tomorrow, but it will happen for you to experience at some point.

Keep in mind, what you ask for and finally receive, you may feel that it isn’t at all that cracked up to be and that’s OK too. It just means that now you have even MORE information to let you know what you do want and you can let go of anything that feels less than spectacular. People don’t like that phrase because they think it sounds selfish and that feeling spectacular doesn’t exist for them. “Who are you to say no to opportunities?” “Psh…saying no to things that seem less than spectacular? That’s ridiculous; you need to pay the bills and get married already.” “You need to grow up now.” I chose a life of ease, abundance, joy, community, love, happiness and being able to share my gifts in the process. The struggle is for those who have a fixed mindset. If you want to move forward in your life Google “growth mindset” because success starts with your thoughts and beliefs. It doesn’t matter what car you drive, what educational background you come from, the family you were born into, but more so, how you train your mind to believe in the possibility that it’s possible for you too.

Here are some essential tips to move areas in your life in the direction you want it to go:

1. Make a list of the following areas in your life, career, money, home, romance, friendships and family, fun and creation, health and well being, personal growth.
2. Write in each section what it is you want.
3. Be specific about what you want and exclude any language that talks about what you don’t want. I’ll give you an example, I want a man who is strong and kind but not selfish and lazy. Here is what the Universe will send you from these thoughts. A man who is might be strong and kind, but also might be selfish, and lazy. Yes, it will happen.
4. Set timelines for when you want these things to happen
5. Take action to make it happen
6. Be patient

And finally. Meditate, go for a walk, drink lots of water, eat better, exercise, travel, spend more time with yourself and be by yourself. Figure out what you want and what you need without people in your ear. Stop reaching out to people because you are bored and don’t have your own life to share with others. Create your own life by doing things you enjoy, this will raise your frequency, and once you do that, anything is game.

Need a boost in life? I’m all ears. Contact me at sonia@soniagrossi.com

-Sonia

 

Be Inspiring & Dateable Again

So many people say that they want to be stimulated, inspired, do something different, and my all time favourite, impact change. What does that really mean to you though? I’ve spent a lot of time and energy saying this over and over again and not really doing anything about it. That was my life…BORING!

There are people I’ve met along the way who I KNOW deep in my heart have HUGE potential, and they spend most of their days worrying and wondering what their life should look like – which is very different to the one they are living now btw. No offence or judgement to how you choose to live your life as everyone has a different definition of success and happiness,  it just sounds pretty boring to me. There is no such thing as perfection, but there is a way to live the life you’ve always wanted and that isn’t by doing what you’ve been doing for the past 20+ years which is made up of excuses and playing this waiting game. You know what I mean here, “oh when I have enough money, when I find the right person, when I go on that vacation” (which you never seem to book)

I took a course last weekend and I discovered how our past impacts our present. Easy right? Well, not really. Most of the individuals that got up to talk about their pasts were really hurting inside which was impacting their lives today. I saw through them that they didn’t feel good enough to have everything they wanted, which is why they either settled for less than they deserve, or didn’t even try at all. I’m more of the latter by the way, I don’t settle, but I often stop myself from going after the larger picture. Still a big problem. I am not that person anymore.

There’s a few things that separate us from those who get what they want and deserve. Those who get what they want never stopped moving forward even when they heard the word “no”. They never stopped even when people judged them and said, “you’re ridiculous!” They never stopped because their purpose was on point and they saw the other side even though it wasn’t yet in their reality, this is called uncertainty and don’t we all LOVE uncertainty. When we reach the border which separates our current reality vs. the one we want to have in our hearts, our brains get freaked out. See image below.

Border

Freaking out happens to everyone once we get close to this border. I still do it with myself from time to time once I get close to something I want in my business or life, I literally freak out. Just ask my coach – she knows. What I want to say here is that it’s so easy to take yourself out of the game, fall back into old patterns & ways of thinking, reach out to that person who isn’t right for you just because you’re lonely, find another job because you think it might be better. That’s not being authentic to yourself and you owe yourself so much more than that. You owe your soul so much more. When I’m on a date with someone and I feel their energy is low as if the world has sucked everything they got out of them and they choose to do NOTHING about it, call me judgemental, but I most likely won’t want a second date. Not because I think they aren’t good enough or that I’m better, it’s because I want to be around people who are alive, energized, and owning up to their full potentials. That’s what makes you fun, inspiring and dateable. Pause and let that sit for a moment. Where are you not showing up in your life that way?

So, where are you holding back and what do you really want that you don’t already have? I’ve left my calendar available on March 16th from 4-9PM to talk to you and have 1:1 conversations to see what’s holding you back and how I can help in anyway. Talking about it can really give you some clarity if nothing else.

Click here to book a call with me on March 16th and we’ll tackle it one step at a time.

With love,

Sonia