Emotions are energy or energy in motion.
Often, we aren’t allowed to show emotion in the workplace or in our lives because it seems inappropriate, and it makes us look a certain way to others as they perceive it.
Here are some phrases that are thrown around:
- “Oh, suck it up and just do it or get over it.”
- “Stop making decisions based on your emotions.”
- “You can’t be like that in meetings, it’s not professional and makes us look bad.”
- “Why are you so [insert emotion here]?” also insert judgement along with the question.
We are made to feel that our feelings are invalid and don’t matter, and it’s a sucky place to stay in for a long time.
People spend a lifetime recycling false emotions, and with false/fake emotions, we repeat patterns over and over again.
- Some people take years to process a heartbreaking event.
- Some people take forever to feel the loss of a loved one through grief.
- Some people avoid abandonment and betrayal like the plague.
- Some people think they are angry at someone, and what they also are, is hurt, and feel alone.
So the way we cope with our experience of life comes out in different ways, and we might be repeating patterns. Sometimes, we are okay with repeating patterns and see it as a way of life, and nothing will change because this is life.
- Some people only choose people and partners that are safe because they don’t want to experience hurt if it comes down to it.
- Some people choose jobs they don’t really care about but pay the bills because doing something they love is scary for them.
- Some people live their lives by checking off the boxes because they never asked themselves what they really wanted, and going after it may cause feelings of disappointment and rejection.
- Some people don’t plan their birthdays and often hate their birthdays because celebrating themselves is too hard, and so they tell their friends don’t bother.
These feelings that are hard for us run our lives and don’t put us in the driver seat of our lives. Life can be limited this way.
I’m here to tell you that your emotions are valid, a way of accessing information, and a way to move you forward towards the things you want.
When we refuse to be in the experience in our lives, we could be trapped, like a hamster on a hamster wheel. Round and round we go.
When I began working with a coach in 2016, I felt emotions for six straight months of working with her. I hired her because I wanted to build a business, and I came with the intention of that during every coaching call I had. I planned what I wanted to talk about before, sent her emails of what I wanted to get coaching on, and then on the call, went into a pool of emotions that I haven’t processed for years. I hadn’t processed them partly because I didn’t want to feel them, and the world around us says that your emotions are bad and scary. When I began to connect to my feelings, I began to connect to myself and started to honour and love myself again.
It wasn’t always easy, it was scary, hard, and it was also the best thing I could have done for me. I let me love myself enough to honour the emotions. It allowed me to have more space to morph into the person I wanted to be and to have the things I wanted.
If we were able to be with the world around us fully, we would be shattered by its greatness and its beauty all at the same time.
I’m taking a stand for everyone to allow themselves to go where they were told not to go. To no longer hold back, to be fearless, and to walk, skip, drive down a path that matters to them. To find their calling of what’s next with clarity and certainty.
What happens next is entirely up to you :0)
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Co-Active Coach + Facilitator