This sense of belonging and community comes to mind as I close the chapter on many birthday celebrations this year. I realize that my effort into my relationships has come full circle, and it’s something I’m proud to admit.
- People want to feel a sense of belonging
- People want to be invited to something big
- People want to share with you
- People want to feel included
I used to have a dream five years ago as I was sitting talking to my counselor having a bunch of beliefs that I’m not good enough to have the things I want. She asked me what I wanted my life to look like in my relationships. I remember saying I wanted my worlds to blend. For example, my work circle, my friends, and my family would all intertwine in my life someway somehow. Unfortunately, five years ago, that wasn’t the case nor my reality. Most of my worlds were separate because I bought into an idea that you can’t mix people because it causes more problems. In a sense that can be true and at the same time, I thought to myself, why can’t it be a good thing?
Then when I worked with a Coach two years later, I still had the same dream. My work and my friendships would be the same, and I could reap the benefits from it. My relationships would transfer to my work and vice Versa. I didn’t know at the time how I could make it happen, but it looks like I figured it out.
I remember I used to be so offended when people didn’t show up for my birthday. They’d say they would be there and wouldn’t show. They’d say they had something else to do. They wouldn’t respond to the invite. I wouldn’t say I liked it, and they expected that I show up to theirs regardless. As I grew up and learned a few things, I realized that the people who matter show up for you and even if they can’t, they will make it up to you another way!
This year was the first year I sent out an invite to people I love, and I was like whoever shows, will show up. I had 19 people show up, and I couldn’t feel more proud of myself. Nineteen people showed because I’ve put in the work. They showed up because there is something about me they like and admire. When I looked at the tables the restaurant had reserved for us, I thought to myself; this is precisely what I had been dreaming and longing for in my life. I had my family, friends, work colleagues present, and I finally crushed a belief that I had to be a certain way or act a certain way if all of those people were present.
We need to show up for the people in our lives who matter, and when you do that for others, you mature the relationships in your life. I noticed that the people who showed up genuinely wanted to be there, and I saw everyone socializing and getting to know each other. It was amazing. I loved it, and I was the common thread.
My message here is this, don’t let the use of technology replace the face time in your relationships. Show up for people because we all want to feel included. Don’t make your fears that you are not good enough to block you from participating in a broader community of people that can potentially support you and grow you. Don’t put all your eggs into one basket either. Whether its a job, a partner, a friend. Open yourself up to all opportunities and possibilities and do it for you. Showing up is important.
Being part of a broader community is key and your biggest ally. You never know what people bring to the table if you invite them 😉
Co-Active Coach, Leadership Expert + Facilitator
P.S. I’ve launched a new coaching program for six months starting in October and I have two spots open. Are you ready to work with me? If you are curious about coaching with me, click here, and book a complimentary coaching call and let’s see where it goes.