They say what you want doesn’t exist.
I have a PSA announcement to the ladies (specifically) and men out there who think they know what you need in a relationship.
I recently had an experience where something inside of me was activated. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time with the opposite sex. It was an experience where I was like..Woah…where did that come from, and it left me wanting more.
There was a little bit of flirting, a little bit of vulnerability, I’d say some of that energy that makes your heart sing and want more from the person. I’ve gone on many first dates in the past year and a half and to say they were all horrible isn’t true. I did not, however, feel a level of attraction with these first date encounters as I did recently.
I finally felt like a woman, one who is attractive, desirable and confident. I didn’t have the opportunity to meet this person again; however, I felt on fire.
I forgot what it was like to feel genuinely attracted to a man because I’ve inherited a belief that it’s not supposed to feel that way early on. I also have a belief that good looking men are bad news. These aren’t my beliefs by the way. They come from the multiple women around me who have said these things to me.
What it sounds like when someone gives you advice on love: “Look at what I had to do to get a man; this is what you should do too!”
If I were to grab all of the opinions and advice I heard over the many years about my relationship status, here is a short synopsis:
- Don’t expect it to feel the way you expect it too
- Going after good looking, hot men won’t give you what you need
- You are too intense or intimating
- You need to go out on more dates and let your hair down
- You can’t be too guarded
- You shouldn’t go after him too quickly
- You should go for someone who has the potential to be someone great
- Maybe if you give someone a chance… you won’t be single anymore
- How come you’ve never had a serious relationship? (insert judgement here)
- I don’t get why you are still single?
- Just be friends with him first after 1.5 years like me and my bf, then he will ask you out
Can you hear how crazy that all sounds? Can you feel what that would feel like if you heard that over the last 10 years of your life?
I’ve had a belief over the years that what I wanted in a man didn’t exist because I saw so many people dating each other based on convenience or because they didn’t think they can have it all to some extent. These beliefs bleed into the jobs we choose and the friends we make by the way.
I needed to date the fixer-upper man because my expectations were too high. I needed to give him a chance because he appeared to be so in love with me. I needed to date someone who had a job to pass the time and pay the bills. I needed to be with someone because it would grow me and change my life, and without it, we are incomplete. I needed to make more of an effort to make it work.
I want someone different. Someone who knows where he is going. Someone I find sexxyyy. Someone confident and knows how to flirt. Someone who sees things beyond the standard stuff we need to do in life like gets a job and pays for a mortgage, and that’s it to our lives. As long as we have that, then he’s happy. It’s not enough for me anymore.
What I know now is that what I want exists because I’ve felt it and even though I’ve only felt it a few times here and there throughout my life so far, it’s a feeling I cannot shake anymore. Nor do I want to deny myself that feeling. It’s a feeling I want more of in my life. I am hooked and I felt powerful.
My PSA announcement is for humans to stop giving each other bad advice about what we should be doing to get the results we want in life. All it does is make us feel bad for not having it, and in the end, we may end up settling for less than we deserve or want.
It’s the hard truth. This is why I love coaching. I don’t give you advice. I ask you the questions to find the truth within yourself. My opinion or experience doesn’t matter because it won’t help you in the end. Only you know what will help you in the end because you are an expert in your life.
This goes for all areas of your life. Your love life, career, friendships, where you live, how much money you want to make etc.
Want to know how I work with my clients? Click here –> http://bit.ly/2N8jDrI and book a complimentary discovery call and let’s chat. I won’t give you advice, I promise!!