Here is something I realize as I have a full-practice of coaching clients, I run group programs, and I deliver workshops… let’s say, I listen A LOT. Sometimes, I’m hearing so much that I think to myself, who will hear me out!?!?
One of the things I didn’t have full certainty of was safety when I was growing up. My parents trained me to be a hyper-achiever and that I was only good enough if I was performing and getting good grades. If I didn’t, which happened a lot through grade 7 all the way to the end of high school, there was terror. I wasn’t doing enough, and I couldn’t hang out with my friends, let alone hang out with boys. It sucked, to be honest. All I saw were other people my age having fun and being supported, or at least that’s what I thought. I thought my life was unfair, and I felt like shit most of the time. I’d come to school, and people would say why does she look so sad?
The safety factor was not always my experience. There were extremely high expectations, constant guilt-tripping, shame, not-enoughness, and disappointment, to name a few. If I wanted a nice pair of Guess jeans, well I needed a job.
That’s not my entire experience, though. I didn’t have a horrible childhood, although at the time it sure felt that way.
I became a master of learning what it meant to feel safe because somehow, I had to create that space within myself. It was only until I became fully aware of what safety felt like in my late twenties, where I finally understood what had been missing.
I ended up taking the first coach training course in Toronto in 2017 with a room full of strangers sitting in a circle. Some people were from Toronto, Quebec, Australia and the U.S. I felt like a connection addict after that class because I let the guard down, felt supported by others and not shamed, or made wrong about the way I felt about things. It felt incredible. I found the people I was longing to find. I’m not someone who kept in touch with my high school friends or friends from college, and that’s because I felt like an outlier compared to them. People were off getting married and saying I do, and I was like what the hell is going on?
For the first time, I felt connected to people. I felt safe. I exposed myself to others, and they saw me for who I was being and loved every part of it anyways. Why is that so hard to find in our real lives?
I use that feeling of safety in my coaching. I create a safe space filled with curiosity and non-judgement. I let other’s be themselves because, for some reason, we’ve created a society where it’s not acceptable to be ourselves, with emotions and all.
I love it when people around me feel safe. It’s the most fabulous place for me to be. I don’t feel judged and I feel like I can tell people how it is, and they respect that. They are open to it, and they give you love in the process. That is who I show up as now — 100 %.
I see the impact of this in one on one coaching, in my group work where people come ALIVE. They feel exhilarated, they feel connected to themselves again, and this is all more important than the AI stuff they are selling us to automate things…..ew.
Sometimes, the cards we were dealt with are our biggest teachers, and we can use the lessons to forward us into the future with purpose, focus, intention and fully express what we are meant to do on Earth if you choose to and pay attention.
Isn’t it funny how the one thing I didn’t feel growing up is one of the things I crave today, and I can be that for others naturally and easily?
I work one on one with women and men who want to shape their future in the life they’ve always wanted giving them full permission to step into the person they are meant to be in the world.
There are no more excuses.
If you are ready to be empowered, prepared to step into a new you with impact, and ready to FEEL alive, powerful and like you can accomplish anything, you can book a discovery call with me here.
I work with people who are READY and are tired of making excuses for themselves. No more drama. It’s time to put you and your dreams first.
Click here to book a complimentary session with me and let’s see if we are a good fit!
Or if you ever want to talk to me outside of coaching, send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, I’m happy to chat.
Leadership Co-Active Coach