Instant gratification is an addiction. We want everything fast and NOW. If it’s not available, we get antsy. We don’t want to wait two weeks for an online shopping shipment to arrive, let alone two weeks for someone’s schedule to open up so they can “hang out” or date you. You want Netflix to upload all their episodes at the same time because you don’t want to wait for the next week to release the next episode. It takes too long!
It’s something I’ve noticed within myself and with others, and it’s something we need to pay attention.
Let’s take a look at our learning and growth. We are continually looking for the next thing to fix our problems, and we certainly would like to fix it today. The thing about learning something new such as new patterns, habits, a new way of thinking, gaining experience, and or skills is that it all takes TIME. Certainly, a lot more time than you think it should.
In 2016, when I began even thinking about finally going out on my own and starting a coaching and training company, I thought it wouldn’t take me THAT long to do so. I had hired a business coach and was like “all right; I’m ALL in; let’s do this.” I landed my first corporate client (the Universe sent me the most AWESOME first client back in 2016) and sent the first contract ever with a big fat price on it at the time. I wasn’t used to the money, nor was I used to asking for it. I had so many beliefs around money, my skills, abilities and I wanted everything to happen NOW. I wanted the money now, the clients now, and people to ask me to work with them. I also had a coach who said I would make the money I needed in 6 months. That DID NOT happen. I was nowhere near ready to make those numbers. I eventually fired her and hired a coach who worked with me side by side. I’m grateful for hiring my second coach; she was excellent in more ways than one.
Needless to say, instant gratification is a problem. It’s a problem in the way that we don’t want to work for it long enough to see consistent results. Whatever happened to the determination and perseverance?
The thing is, we WILL fail, over and over again. You can expect to fail.
That’s the whole point because you learn so much from your failures and it supports you in the future. Failure is feedback and gets you closer to the things you do want — your dreams, desires, and aspirations. I encourage my clients to fail over and over again because really, it isn’t so bad when you do. It’s not detrimental, its’ never over, you aren’t over, only what’s next now from this new place that you landed in.
It’s like after a breakup. I talk a lot about dating by the way. There are so many people in relationships who are together AND know they need to end it; however, having the conversation and breaking someone’s heart is scary and painful. If you aren’t honest with yourself about this, what else aren’t you honest with and with whom?
So they prolong it because being together is more comfortable than being single and searching for someone else. They choose to play it safe because it’s easier to do.
Ending a relationship will set you free and the other person free. Reflect on what you learned from that relationship, thank each other for everything, and look for your next soul mate love. It’s a win-win. Always. Change is inevitable, and it’s up to you and your resilience to move forward, always.
Easier said than done I realize. I can’t lead people on like that though in my life story. I’m too passionate, and I have a big heart. I want to be with the person wholeheartedly and feel connected by our souls. It’s an epic love that I seek, and I know exactly what that feels like.
Back to my career. Starting something on my own was the scariest thing I did for myself and my life. It pushed me outside my comfort zone on so many levels; it’s not even funny. It tests you as a human being. You are vulnerable, and I didn’t fully know who I was when I started this journey. I preserved, with the support of a coach and all the other things I did to support me. I failed, over and over. People said no to me, like a lot. It reaffirmed the belief in me that I wasn’t good enough, and yet, I continued, I kept going, AND, I built my resilience. I developed my strength and my courage. I NEEDED to let go of the crappy beliefs I had about money and invested a $%*# ton of money into my personal development instead of a mortgage. It was the best investment I have made, and I see the abundance it comes with. I committed myself, and that was to experience life to its full capacity, full range, and to be with people who loved and supported me. People who accepted me and loved it all!
I delivered a workshop last week to 8 fabulous women on creating boundaries and saying no. What emerged was something I can’t even explain in words. It felt like I was living in a dream world. The vulnerability and leadership in the room were so powerful and yet, in the real world, we don’t always feel that way. It’s time to take a stand for what’s possible.
I create spaces for others to be vulnerable and express who they truly are with my guidance and coaching because I’m on a mission to grow the leader within.
Join me at my next workshop. What’s Your Impact on Saturday, May 4th starting at 12:30 PM. I’ll bring everything, you bring yourself, exactly as you are.
Grab your tickets here.
Leadership Co-Active Coach + Facilitator