What does a “big deal” even mean?
Does it mean more success?
Does it mean that you want to be famous?
Does it mean you want people to know who you are?
Does it mean you want to have more power?
Does it mean you want people to take you seriously?
How do you spend your time on a day to day basis?
Do you get up at 7 am and go to work, come home at around 6 pm, make dinner, eat, maybe get in a workout, perhaps not? Watch TV for a few hours and repeat? Do your weekends consist of taking care of the kids and spending time with family with very little time to yourself. Maybe you are single and your weekends are boring and lonely because all of your friends are off with their partners doing God knows what. What’s that like? What’s it like to be there? What does it feel like day in day out? Is it all that you imagined? Did you say to yourself, well how much more can I want, this is life? Guess what….there are probably expectations hangovers running amuck. Read Christine Hassler’s book, Expectation Hangover for more incredible information. I honestly thought that life was laid out for me and I wouldn’t have to work too hard to be happy because I should be grateful that I have an awesome education and a family that supports me to be able to be a success in this world. The truth is, for me to be “happy” and or “fulfilled” I needed to figure out what that looked like for me and in fact, carving out a new way of life wasn’t going to be easy when I dove deep. I still had so much to learn. As it turns out; my life looks very different today than it did even four years ago and my idea of success is entirely different as well. I could have continued on the pathway that was laid out to be by others, and it would have been easy. Status quo and in my comfort zone. I was chasing after someone else’s dream without figuring out who I was and what I wanted to create on the planet. My vision and purpose go way beyond the should’s of life.
Here’s what being a big deal means to me:
I want to be the person who walks into a room, and the energy immediately shifts. It shifts to the place of, “Woah who is this powerful woman who is vibrant, exciting, fearless, courageous, confident and fun?” It means that I take myself and my business seriously. I am unapologetically myself and no longer feel like I am not enough based on what other people think of me. I no longer let people define who I am based on their perspectives of me. I’m someone who understands that the way people perceive you is the way they view themselves and the world, and it has nothing to do with me. I’m someone who has an impact and influence on people just based on who I’m being. My influence is on a large scale, and it happens naturally. I no longer get jealous or compare myself to other people’s success. I position myself around other’s who want to be better, do better, and impact and influence the world around them. I surround myself with leaders who are doing more than the status quo and who have big goals and big ambitions. I no longer settle for the limited options available and instead, show interest in the endless possibilities that the universe has to offer that align with who I am as a person and what I’m here to do on this planet. I have a life purpose, I know what it is, and I stand by it every day. It informs my decisions. I know my values, and design my life around what’s important to me. There is no playing small or avoiding difficult conversations and situations. I show up for people and ask for help. I go after my big dreams, as scary and terrifying as they might be. I set boundaries with the people in my life because I know that having my boundaries stepped on impacts my productivity and my happiness. I create healthy fulfilling relationships. I don’t chase after the things I thought I needed and wanted. I chase after the things that light me up to the fullest, things that genuinely EXCITE me. Mediocrity is not an option. My time here is a gift, it’s precious, and its limited with the exact end date unknown. I will use my brain, body, and soul to guide me to the people and opportunities meant for me and to my best ability show up for people. Show up for me. My life is worth more than putting it in a box to fit into to systems, structures, and societies. It reaches beyond the status quo. My vision is to influence others to keep growing, evolving, lead with compassion, love from the heart, and officially believe deep within themselves that they DESERVE to go after their big scary dreams. No exceptions. No rules. You don’t need to settle. You don’t need to be in pain. You don’t need to stay stuck because you are brilliant who has everything you already need and who knows everything you want in life. It’s about uncovering the truth within the depths of your heart and claiming that to the world.
I am a big deal…and will continue to be a big deal…because the world needs our leadership now more than ever. Do you feel that way too?
Here are three steps you can take to figure out who you are without shame, figure out what you want, and empower you to continue on the journey in a way that excites you!
- Sit down with yourself, by yourself, in a place with limited distractions.
This could be in your room, in a quiet library, at a co-working space, in the sauna at the gym. Learn to spend time by yourself and ENJOY it because if you are afraid to spend quiet time with yourself, how can you expect other’s to like it?
- Ask yourself the following questions and wait for your body to inform the answers within your meditative state.
Who do I want to be?
How do I want to feel?
What do I need to let go of now?
Spend some time here and see what emerges. Maybe nothing will emerge, perhaps you will cry like a baby (I have), or maybe the answers will come quickly. What your experience is doesn’t matter, what matters is you are starting to ask yourself essential questions that can help move you forward. Touching base with yourself is a solid pathway to build a connection between your physical self and your higher power or essential self. The part of you that exists beyond your physical form. The inner knowing, wise, compassionate, certain and courageous version of yourself. The part of you that wants the very best for you and knows what that looks like. Get to know you because you are pretty freaken awesome, no matter what other people say about you.
3. Take an inventory of all your celebratory wins within the past 6 to 12 months. Journal about it. Write it out. Share it with a trusted friend who will celebrate your successes with you, not someone who will pretend to be happy for you. We are so quick to disregard our wins because we feel like we haven’t done enough. The truth is, claiming your victories gives you energy and motivation. It allows you to feel GOOD about the things you’ve accomplished rather than sweeping them under the rug looking for the next big thing. We are looking to raise your joy frequency to be able to keep attracting good things into your life. Life is too short to feel like crap.
If you want to chat more with me and dive into your big scary dreams, figure out how to get unstuck, and chat about how to re-design your life based on what’s important to you, schedule a 20-minute discovery call with me here.
I’d love to support you and figure out some steps to move you powerfully forward.
Sonia Grossi, Coach