Welcome to the land of rejection. It stings, doesn’t it?
I know it did for me, and sometimes it still does for a tiny bit. However, I learned that rejection hurt because I was looking at it in a way that did not serve me. We can become so free when rejection doesn’t bother us anymore. Better yet, rejection isn’t even in your vocabulary. How does that sound?
Well, if you’ve ever been ghosted by someone in dating or a client says, thanks but no thanks, we are considering other options, or an employer tells you that they are looking at other, and more qualified candidates or you’ve been overlooked for leadership positions (again!), or you meet a bunch of cool new individuals that deliberately don’t invite you out anymore, then maybe you know what I mean and if you don’t, Kudos!
These scenarios may sound simple; however, the way we feel about it is as if it is entirely harmful to the body. I did not like being in any of these situations and was often taken off course for a few days, even weeks after hearing the news. It was as if my whole being was in shock, and then I’d beat myself up for it afterward. What a whirlwind.
What was the impact of being this way? Well, if you are someone who understands about the frequency you are vibrating at, you get that being in the whirlwind of low-frequency emotions doesn’t actually help you. To put it in different terms, the more time you spend in the feelings of I’m a failure; I can’t take it anymore, I’m giving up, the more time you waste bringing in the opportunities and people you’d like to experience for yourself. For these reason’s alone, let me tell you, I spent a lot of time in those low-frequency feelings and was often disappointed when the opportunities I wanted weren’t coming to me. I wasn’t getting the results I wanted in life. I am just NOW starting to see the results that my intentional and purposeful forward-thinking moves are bringing me. This didn’t happen overnight, although my ego had that expectation and was dejection along the way.
Rejection most likely has nothing to do with you. Do you think that any successful person you admire didn’t experience a bunch of rejection at the beginning of their careers? They still do. Do you think that people who honestly and authentically found their soul mate, for the present day, didn’t experience some kind of rejection before finding that person? Do you think that anyone who has moved up in their careers didn’t experience constructive criticism, make mistakes, and get overlooked for positions or opportunities they really wanted? Of course, they did.
Can you look at it as an opportunity to be better? Every time you look at it that way, reflect on what the universe is telling you, you have another chance to bring into your life something that is way more helpful to you and that aligns with your desires. Sometimes, if the Universe thinks you still have a lesson to learn, they will bring that person or opportunity into your life for the short-term, and then you’ll realize that this is not it. It may take you a while to get there, but there is still a lot of learning to do. The truth is, we are never complete learning as human beings. There is no destination to reach in which you can just relax and stay there for a while. Unless you are someone who loves comfort and saying the same.
For the most part, rejection is one of those things that make you a better person, and you can learn from it as one of your favourite teachers. Rejection was not a favourite teacher of mind for a LONG time; now, I’ve become friends with it and tap into what’s it telling me.
Here are some perspectives I use to look at rejection differently:
- What is the universe telling me with this circumstance?
It could be something like, Sonia, you dodged a bullet and here is why…
- Where can I tweak my approach for next time?
It could be something like, responding with kindness, let go of the outcome, and follow up with this person in a month if it’s someone I want to work it.
- What is the perspective from the other person involved?
It could be something like; they treat everyone like this in their world, and until they learn a higher lesson (that is not my responsibility to teach them) they most likely won’t change their behaviour. Instead, their reactions or actions towards you are a result of what’s going on in their head and a story they are telling themselves. I can offer compassion and empathy to this person.
- Anticipation is the ultimate power. What this means is that once you get curious about rejection, you are essentially learning more about how the game is played and in turn, up level your game.
Rejection is becoming my BEST friend, and the funny thing about it is that I don’t experience it as often as I once did. It isn’t even really in my vocabulary. This my friends is what freedom looks like at its finest.
My new impact: I am moving towards bringing in my desires and building a life that I love on my terms. Anything that does not serve me I have the choice to let it go. My dream business is moving faster than I imagined, my soul mate is so close to meeting me I can feel it, my tribe is forming as we speak and my financial abundance keeps growing.
If you want to learn more about this and have a specific situation in mind, book a complimentary 30-minute call with me. I am a leadership coach who works with women and men one on one become free of themselves and move towards their dreams and desires. Shake up your life!