What am I talking about?
I’ve had multiple experiences in the last few months and what I’m talking about is showing up for people when you expect nothing in return and when they don’t expect you to show up. What happens after this is magical. There’s something about approaching situations with curiosity and letting it land where it may. What I’m learning when I show up for people who don’t expect me to is their reaction to it when I do. It is almost like they feel the same way when they see me. I see it in their body language, and their eyes (eyes tell us everything by the way if you are paying attention) and I can tell they are like wow Sonia is here I didn’t expect that, but, hey! That’s awesome.
Sometimes, our biggest fear is that people won’t give a s&#t when and if we show up for them and sometimes, that is entirely true. However, the people that don’t notice or at least show you they notice aren’t who you need to focus your attention on. The people you need to focus on are the people who notice you, see you and want to learn more from you. They are the people who will call you up and say, “Hey, want to get together?” In my coaching practice, I hear time and time again of my clients sharing how frustrated they are with certain individuals they put SO MUCH energy into trying to get noticed and receive nothing in return. It’s like looking at yourself at 5 to 10 years old waiting to be picked for softball, and the captains aren’t choosing you. So instead, you jump up and down and scream, pick me, PICK ME!!! Will that get you selected though? NO. It’s hard to have the belief that you are worthy and deserving of acceptance and love by just sitting down and doing NOTHING. Think of all the conditioning we have bought into by believing that the only way to be loved is to overachieve constantly. (My number one inner critic who ran my show for YEARS) All that to say, I am beginning to focus my attention on those who pay attention to me in return. When I focus on these amazing individuals, they are so full of love, acceptance, generosity, reciprocity, respect, encouragement, and offer to help me while expecting nothing. What the F? Want to know the greatest part? When I ask for their help, they respond in an instant. What I mean by that you are on the priority list and not way down the list categorized under, “maybe sometime when I feel like it.”
What I am trying to say in this post is to cultivate relationships with those who you show up for and who show up for you. Initiate getting to know them and let go of your disappointments, fears, frustrations, and hurt from people in your past. Instead, bring curious energy and ask questions without judgment. Last but not least, always see the good in people even when it’s awfully challenging to do so because we are all fighting a battle that most people know NOTHING about.
Check out my YouTube video on this here –> Click here
How this has helped me:
- I am building of strong network people who I consider closer than acquaintances
- I have access to a slew of fulfilling like-minded friendships who genuinely want each other to succeed and support each other
- It doesn’t feel awkward asking them for help
- Some of these friendships also turn into business partnerships at the same time if you can design it that way
- My access to referrals is growing substantially
- I am connecting to other awesome people within their network
- And lastly, I can see the difference between those who have their best interests for me versus those who do not
I long for you to find your tribe of people who feel equal to you, not above you, and so that you flourish and grow in their presence instead of feeling heavy, drained, drama, and depleted out of obligation or fear that by letting them go, you’ll have no other options left.
I am offering complimentary strategy sessions to help you work through a problem you are having either with your career/business, friendships, or romantic aspect of your lives —> Click here for 30 minutes of free coaching and consulting with me!