I’ve been asked quite a bit recently why and how I became I coach. People are always curious about the story behind my career of choice and how I became this remarkable human being today 😉 Not to toot my own horn or anything.
What made you want to be a coach?
How did you become a coach?
Why are you a coach?
What kind of coaching do you do exactly?
These questions shock me to my core when I first hear them because I’m afraid to reveal the LONG story about it and it always feels so vulnerable. This story is tightly connected to many areas of my entire life. So in the face of my vision, which is to give people permission to be vulnerable and accepted, I am going to reveal my long story of how I became a coach.
I became a coach because coaching was the most powerful tool I’ve received as a resource to help me grow as a human and a leader. I’ve been coached since 2016 and my experience working one on one with a leadership coach has taken me to a level I only ever dreamed about. At 25, I felt like I hit rock bottom, and my external world felt horrible on the inside. I didn’t like anything about my life, and externally, it looked like I was on the right track to success. I had an excellent 9-5 corporate job that my HR degree helped me achieve. I had a social group of girlfriends to go out drinking and talk about boys with. I had my family there for me, and I was dating here and there, on and off. At some point though, the tears on my drives home from work became exhausting, and I knew there was something wrong internally. I wasn’t kind to myself. Always trash talking myself in my head and I wasn’t kind to others. Although, I was a lot more generous to others than myself. It was a point in my life where I was ready to make significant changes no matter what the cost. It felt heavy, and also hard to breathe. I couldn’t sleep because I was way too attached to my job answering emails at all hours of the day because I didn’t create healthy boundaries at work, family, friends, and the guys I dated. #zeroboundaries. I didn’t even know that I was entitled to have boundaries, let alone what they meant. My friendships were full of drama and focused on superficial things in life. All the things I thought I should be chasing. The women around me at the time were very focused on jobs, boyfriends, and marriage. The men in my life or lack thereof were interested in “hooking up,” and calling it a relationship until it best served them. The truth was, I didn’t want just to hook up; instead, I wanted companionship and connection first. Read the book, Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy: Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships for research on why women settle and where these patterns develop. I still felt like there was something more to friendships and relationships and so I decided to seek other avenues for connection and love. I went to therapy because I needed to talk to someone who was a professional with a degree in something and give me advice. I discovered a lot about mindfulness, stress, anxiety, fears, traumas and depressive symptoms. I was super stressed, and this was the first time I was honest with someone about a whole lot in my life. I read recommended books, took courses, attended events, learned about attachment theory, and worked through a lot of deep stuff that happened to me as a child and teenager. All things I suppressed for a LONG time, and it had finally caught up with me. I, like many people I know, have been taught to follow life’s dream path which is to get an education, make money, start a family, own a home, and eventually retire at some point. “You can be anything you want to be,” my professors told me. There will be LOTS of jobs when you finish University/College! Yes, yes there are…
Here are some of the questions I’ve asked myself during the journey to my personal growth and spiritual awakening.
What if you’re confused and you aren’t sure what you want to be or what you want to do? What if you don’t have a relationship by 27, 28, 29, or 30? What if you can’t afford a down payment on a home because you chose to spend your money on other things in life like travel, experiences, and fun? What if you spend even more money after post-secondary to pursue other career opportunities? What does this all mean? What if you don’t even know what vulnerability means or what it looks like with another person? What if I don’t feel as accomplished as I wanted to be? Is this all there is, my time going into a corporation in exchange for money and compromising my freedom? Why do people get tired of my bullshit? Why do I get tired of people’s bullshit? There’s definitely something wrong with me; everyone else has what they want? No?
Don’t get me wrong, having a fancy title in a J-O-B gave me a high and it still does. I thought I was mad cool with some of the jobs I had. We are all very good at putting on a mask to protect ourselves so that we look a specific way to the outside world and eventually, it catches up to you if you allow it.
The thing is, is that when I hit that 25, 26-year mark I made a decision that there had to be a better way to live my life than giving my life to someone else and not focusing on creating the experiences I wanted. My biggest problem was that I didn’t believe having a fulfilling life could be mine which included freedom, time, money, connection, love, support, travel, safety, security, and respect all at the same time. So I started seeking options, I said to myself, well other people freelance as a trainer, is there some way I can do that too? In 2015, I had finished a contract position with Pan Am Games in Toronto, and I took four weeks to travel in Europe. I saw nine countries in 26 days. It was the first time I traveled on my own, and I stepped out my comfort zone because I was determined to see as many places in Europe as possible because I now had the time, with no job lined up. This was terrifying for me by the way. To jump off the edge sort of speak not knowing what was on the other side and having no guarantee of security or safety net (money). Once I returned, I landed a job and quit within two months. Again, the same patterns kept coming up for me in the workplace, and this time it was even louder and felt even more cumbersome. I didn’t know what to do, and the thought of finding my soul mate and owning a home seemed even further away for me while everyone else moved up in their careers and became Mr. & Mrs. I thought I had to go back and take a job that I was overqualified for because employers were questioning my gaps in employment. This made me feel inadequate and unlovable because I didn’t have my shit together. I felt awful a lot of the time, and I asked myself and said, where did I go wrong?
So I asked my mentor who is also a fantastic facilitator and coach, “Hey you, do you know of a coach I can speak to support me grow a business in this space?” Luckily, she knew just the person for me in her network. I was so afraid of hiring someone to support me with my dreams. It’s very personal to hire a coach and put faith in someone to help you live a better life because, at the time of purchase, we probably have quite a few beliefs around our vision and unsure if it’s even a possibility or worth the money. All in all, I was ready to make changes, and I was determined to try something different as scary as that was for me because I was committed to myself and development. I was finally ready to dive in and reveal my ultimate truth.
Through all my B.S. I’ve been telling myself for years I realized the only thing standing in my way was me and no one else. The whole idea that we aren’t enough is bogus, and I really don’t believe it anymore. Coming from someone who began the process of coaching, I became curious about the profession and decided to sign up for CTI’s Coaching Fundamentals course in June 2017. No idea what to expect, I arrived at Toronto’s Hyatt Regency hotel with 20 peers who also had no idea what they were doing. I was the first coachee in the sandbox exercise and was coached on why I was dissatisfied with my love & romance life. I cried the entire time in front of strangers who were trying their ultimate best to coach me with very little coach training. It was the first time I saw the power of my vulnerability and how people responded to my truth, and what I was really feeling inside. I was hooked, and I wanted more of this non-judgment, supportive, and encouraging environment of connection and respect. So I signed up for the next four courses a few days later and said, I’ll figure out the money later. This is a very backward approach to what my parents taught me, believe me.
I completed the last CTI coach course as of July 2018. I now have paid clients in my practice. I run workshops, I post YouTube videos, own a website, facilitate corporate training and leadership programs to various companies, I lead business masterminds, I partner with wonderful business owners, I date (here and there!), I go on vacations, I travel on weekends to mini getaways, I choose wisely who comes into my circle, I let go of toxic relationships, I love and feel deeply, I have an impact with the work I do, I have a better relationship with my family, and I know how to put myself first regardless of how other’s think of me. I learned how to own up to my shit. I learned how to take responsibility for my life. I learned to let go of how I think I should live my life and connect to what I want to create here on Earth in this life because honestly, what’s the point if you can’t be the person to change YOUR life?
Hiring a coach was the most intimate and vulnerable relationship I experienced at that time in my life and has opened me up to the possibility of having similar experiences with the people in my life. If you are ready to become a creator, take action, get rid of excuses for why you can’t do something, put yourself first, and trust me to support you in moving you towards your vision, lead from the heart, challenge you and love you all at the same time, connect with me. I work one on one with women who are ready to find fulfillment and shake things up the way they always intended.
I’m ready, are you?
Click here to book a complimentary call with me and learn how I can support you let go of who you think you are and turn into the person you are meant to be.