Happy long weekend!
If you live in Ontario, Canada, you probably took this extra long weekend to enjoy the summer weather, and I mean that literally. It was HOT. It’s usually a time of the year where most people take some time to reflect on their lives because back to school is just around the corner, and we know what that means with the changes of our schedules. It could have been a time for you to spend quality time with your families, friends, partners, and loved ones of all sorts. For some of you, it meant going to another country entirely before the summer ends and soak up new cultures, inspiration, and to find yourself. I love the summer. It makes me feel lighter, joyful, excited, relaxed because I can walk out and feel my body in the heat rather than put layers upon layers of clothes and jackets and cover everything up because of the cold.
I am writing this post to you as I drink my almond date smoothie from Second Cup which I was a bit skeptical to buy by the way, however, it was free with all my points and the ladies at the cashier really wanted to help me find something that was cold, low sugar, and healthy for me. I think it’s made from almond milk? Thank goodness I don’t have allergies…
So what does a new way of being look like? I talk about this as it’s a huge and meaningful message in my business as I coach, teach and lead people. A new way of being is believing that you have it all, and then some. It’s more than just the thoughts of having what you want. It also includes the feeling of having all the beautiful things you want. It’s the feeling that you are good enough to have the things you want too. A lot of our behaviours and thoughts come from a place of how full or not full we feel about ourselves. It has NOTHING to do with what we have or don’t have. Happiness can’t be bought and always comes free like laughter, being present, joy, acceptance, gratitude, and compassion.
Here are seven ways to being the process of feeling different as these tools, mindsets, and practices, have helped me change my life indefinitely.
1. Accept that you don’t need anything else.
Accept the fact that happiness is free. I know that you’ve been taught to believe that if you can afford a home, a fancier car, more substantial savings, a better phone, the latest technology, this will make you happy. It will, and it will be short-lived until the high wears off and you want the next best thing. It’s designed that way, always to want more which makes the world on this side of the planet keep the economy where it’s at and putting money back into the system. You can still want all those things, but also know, that your happiness isn’t dependant on these things and that what you have is a blessing and a gift so begin to appreciate every part of your life regardless of your circumstances. Try meditating for 5 minutes if that helps.
2. Send gratitude and love to others who need it.
I attended a retreat this summer with 100+ women around my age and up. There was a session of meditation in the morning from 8 – 8:30 am. I cried the entire time. We were asked to send love to the people in our life even if we think they may not deserve it. I began with family and friends and went to those who did me wrong at some point. It was freaken awesome to cry over the people in my life knowing that I wish them well and am grateful for what they have given me. When I went to breakfast shortly after our meditation session, I shared with the women at my table that I cried during meditation and a friend responded, “That’s awesome, I wish I could cry, I need it.”
3. Acknowledge the people around you even if you believe they don’t deserve it.
The more we recognize people for the good they have, the better the world will be. After hearing about the recent cases of mental health in the news and its effects and impact, I genuinely believe that acknowledgment is more needed now than ever before. Look at how people light up when you acknowledge them by starting with, “You are…” It goes from zero to one hundred. Acknowledge yourself and the people around you because they want to feel that other’s notice them for their good, even if they don’t believe it in themselves yet. If they don’t believe you, don’t get upset, they just don’t believe in themselves because they haven’t been told enough times, unfortunately, how truly magnificent they are.
4. Be upfront with your intentions and be upfront with other people’s intentions of you.
I can’t stress this one enough. Coming from someone who has been out there dating a lot more than I used to, it’s becoming very clear how important it is to ask the hard questions up front before anything develops. This also goes for business partner relationships, job interview, and even signing on new clients, etc. I recently saved myself from a man who asked me out “in real life” and not on bumble or tinder by knowing up front what his real intentions were, and I declined the date without feelings of missing out. I’ve grown up and out of just having fun, and I’m looking for a connection, someone real, committed, and emotionally supportive. When we share this with other’s regarding what we want without fear of judgment, the people and opportunities that we want will be there for us, and anything less than that will have no choice but to leave.
5. Choose a new way to feel in the world.
I choose to feel magnetic, radiant, generous, electric and free. I put these words into practice about a month and a half ago. At first, I was like, magnetic? How the hell do I feel magnetic when I don’t feel like that today. Ah, it comes down to a choice and truly understanding what that word means to you. I wanted to feel magnetic with people and opportunities who align with who I am and what I wish to do in the world through my work. I want to magnetize the right people and working opportunities that make me feel alive and excited all at once. When you are clear on how you want to feel, watch your outer world shift.
6. Talk to strangers and observe how they respond without attachment.
Compliment your barista, compliment the person standing next to you in the grocery store, compliment your friend. See how they respond to you. Some will feel delighted, others might not believe you, and that’s OK. It’s only because they don’t believe it for themselves and that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them. The next time you enter the Starbucks where you handed someone a compliment, I guarantee they will look at you and remember the lovely feeling you gave them. I bet you they don’t often hear enough compliments from people who order coffee from them. You’ve just sent a ton of love into the world.
7. Remove attachments to outcomes (very Buddhist way of being)
How many times had I put so much energy into people who weren’t right for me? Or energy into job interviews/hiring managers that weren’t calling me back? A very challenging lesson I’m learning this year is only saying HELL yes to people and opportunities that excite me and a big NO to opportunities and people who do not. How come we didn’t learn to listen to ourselves when we were children? This would have saved me a lot of heartache as of today! Think about it, so many of us are walking around not connecting to our soul and tapping into what we really want and choosing based out of fear. I used to get a lot of flack for not selecting a partner, not sticking with a 9-5 job because I was told I’m not good enough to even have a job, or that I was a bad person because I said goodbye to a lot of friendships that no longer served me. I don’t think that way at all, but the world wanted me to hear it that way. Begin tapping into the flow of life and releasing attachment to people and things. We don’t own anyone or anything, and despite our most significant efforts, things change, people change their minds, money doesn’t always come through, we learn as we grow.
As we wake up each day knowing we have another shot to write our story the way we always wanted and based on what we deserve, be excited about that. Be grateful and know that your bright and shiny objects are coming to you as you read this today and it will only come to you if you genuinely believe it. If you are ready in writing a new story and reveal your ultimate truth in what you want in your life, book a complimentary call with me. I work with women who have reached a point in their lives and say, “is this all there is? I did everything I was supposed to?” Let’s challenge your current belief system and begin changing your life exactly the way you always intended to.