Self-expression in the real world
Do you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to be who you are in the world? Do you feel a shameful feeling, like you want to hide the real you because you’re afraid of being rejected by others? Fearful of what people will think of you, and what they will say about you when you leave? Do you think people will judge you? We are all paradoxical, complicated, multi-dimensional beings. We are not always just friendly, or always just rude. We have so many layers, so much to give to people, so much to show, and yet we hide certain parts of ourselves away because, at some point, we learned that it wasn’t appropriate to be that way. That’s why when I hear people gossip about other people, I often think to myself; there is so much MORE than what you see in people. Remember, people’s perception of others’ is a direct reflection of themselves. Take what people say about other’s with a grain of salt and know that there is more to them than what you hear.
A significant shift for me more recently was understanding myself, knowing who I am, what I stand for, what I want to create, and how I show up as a leader in the world. I had to let go of the myth that I am not a leader because I’ve never held a management position with people who report to me where I evaluate their performance and give them feedback on their performance review.
My latest transformative and learning experience about my leadership happened two weekends ago and I was coached at the front of the room. This is typically a 12 – 15-minute coaching session in front of your peers by a certified coach and sometimes master certified coach with all the leadership training ever imagined. I was coached on learning more about my inner leadership (what a perfect topic!), and I was held accountable to show others what this looked like, think of embodiment and letting your body lead. I cried, I laughed, I discovered a lot about myself that had been stuffed away by limiting and negative beliefs. I found a purpose, vision, and my mission became clear, and I made people laugh in the process 🙂 When I showed my peers who I am as a leader, it was natural, creative, inclusive, vulnerable, and captivating. It was freeing to be the person you are meant to be in the world without all the garbage we tell ourselves, and it stems from us telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough to some capacity.
What I found transformative is how much beauty I see in myself that I never believed existed before. I saw myself as worthy, competent, good enough, having enough experience, and that list can go on and on.
The truth is, what helped me get to this point is that I practiced, I learned, I started from base camp again, and slowly picked up the pieces that I left behind because I chose to believe something different. Something that didn’t make sense before because I forgot who I was. I forgot how powerful I was and how much beauty lived within me. Once I uncovered what I needed and what I needed to do, I began to see the world and people differently. I now see more good in people than ever before. People are not only one way. They are not this or that. A lot of us are walking around unconscious, driven by ego and fear, and believe we don’t deserve to have the best. Our ego tells us that we are jealous, there aren’t enough opportunities in the world for us, and we need to grab it, it tells us that we need to work extremely hard to get what we want and if not, then we basically suck and fail. This is not us being free and being self-expressed in the world.
Express every inch of yourself to the world and take a stand for what you believe. Don’t hide certain parts of yourself because I’m telling you, you’ll be surprised how people respond to your beauty, and even if they don’t respond positively, it has very little to do with you and A LOT to do with them 😉
Be an observer in your life. Look at the people around you and seek the answers to these questions: How do they respond to you? Do they listen to you when you speak? How do they acknowledge you? What are you celebrated for? Are the relationships in your life meaningful and intimate? Are the people in your life kind to you and respectful? Pay attention to these signals. It will show you your most significant gifts to give in the world and where else you need to evolve and grow.
Take it one step at a time, and don’t have an overwhelming expectation of the people around you and of yourself. You are a spiritual being having a human experience so always remember, that we make mistakes, we may fail, and it’s all part of being human. We are also here to be love, show kindness, create change, make an impact, learn, grow, evolve, and get back up again regardless of our circumstances.