How goes it with this SUMMER HEAT! I’m posting this purely on the inspiration of my past week(s) because it’s been an inspiring one. A lot has happened and now that I am what they call “woke” I can see things a lot clearer, and I most certainly respond differently. People are strange and awkward for the most part. Sometimes behaviours are comical to me when I observe how others react/respond to life. As I sit here as an observer and experience my life, I find people’s behaviours freaken hilarious, for real!
This isn’t my first rodeo. Nor is it my last.
I feel the need to say that drama FOLLOWS me everywhere I go, and even though I claim that I hate the drama because I do, I always seem to get sucked into it and continue to play regardless of how toxic it may be. As we are now in the middle of 2018, my intention recently is to nip drama in the bud before it gets worse because I no longer have the capacity given my new set of circumstances. It’s about having the confidence to have the awkward conversation with someone and say, “hey, I’m sending this thing, what’s that all about?” When these conversations do not happen, the energy becomes awkward, uncomfortable, and resentment BUILDS. It’s awful when things are awkward. Thankfully, we have the education to speak to each other and work things out! SO PROFOUND!
Where I’m at right now is that I feel like I can predict how things will pan out without continuously giving people the benefit of the doubt over and over again. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt so much that I ended up being way too kind to the point that I would then be disappointed when things didn’t go my way. I’d say, “But I was so nice to him/her!” That may be true, however, what is also true is sometimes when you give an inch, people will want to take a mile. Being “nice” can be mistaken for someone’s weakness, but you know what they say about people who assume things?
Now, with my new found confidence powers and leadership, I’m a straight shooter. I call it like it is and ask the hard questions. That’s my leadership style, and the more I use this unique power of mine, the more results I see. I have a genuine appreciation for people who value their relationships and treat others with respect. It’s the greatest gift while being in a relationship, friendship or partnership with these people.
I wanted to point out a few qualities to look for in someone who will be your biggest champion and ally all at the same time:
1. They have difficult conversations with you when there is awkward energy between the two of you, and they approach you to say hey I noticed something, can we talk about it? This is what leadership looks like. It also shows that they value and respect you because having these types of conversations can be tough, and a lot of people sweep things under the rug. Please note, that they come to you not with blame but wanting to understand you.
2. They celebrate you. Whether you received a promotion, launched a new business idea, have a birthday, had a fantastic romantic date, they articulate their happiness for you and make an effort to celebrate you and all your glory. Celebrating doesn’t mean having to drop tons of money. It can be something simple and yet super effective. Maybe send you a written card that says congratulations on your new promotion in the mail.
3. They respect your time. This one was a hard lesson for me to learn and ACCEPT. Your time is ONE of the most significant resources we have. When someone respects your time, priorities and supports your goals, they are a keeper. Someone who doesn’t appreciate your time will often schedule things last minute hoping you will drop other things or want to see you out of convenience, plan things in advance and don’t follow through, expects a lot of your time really fast without trust having the time to develop. Also, will often wish to have access to your knowledge, expertise, and other awesomeness you bring to the table without investing in you.
4. They lean into you without judgment and instead, bring curiosity. Listen, at the end of the day we ALL have our flaws as it is a part of the human experience. I know that a lot of relationships, friendships, business partners fail because two people come to each other with judgment. When I feel judged for who I am, the walls go up pretty quickly. (One of my flaws btw!) However, if someone leans in and offers curiosity for who you are and understanding, there is space for the relationship to evolve.
It all seems pretty straightforward, doesn’t it? Pretty much. However, it’s looking for proof that these people exist! Are you in a whirlwind of people who don’t respect your time, don’t see your worth, assume things rather than talk about them? You know what that feels like and I bet you know what that feels like pretty well. I know I do! Look for people who offer something different than what your used to and see how it feels. Send me an email with your questions/comments as I’d be happy to offer my experience and insight 🙂
CHECK OUT MY NEXT WORKSHOP: AUGUST 2018
Date: Thursday, August 9, 2018
Time: 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM
Location: Shecosystem Co-Working Space
Address: 703 Bloor St W, Toronto, ON M6G 1L5
Room: Studio Room
RSVP for Tickets and info
Founder, Coach and Facilitator
Free Your Expectations Coaching & Leadership Co.