It’s been awhile, and I miss writing and blogging. I’ve been reflecting quite a bit recently, and that is because I’ve allowed myself the space to reflect. I’ve had more time to focus on my business, personal development, and have some fun in the process 🙂
“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make it perfect.” ~Unknown
I spent years putting my job first, money first, friends first, boys first, family first, you name it. I forgot to pay attention to what was important to me and follow my heart. I used to work 50 – 60 hours a week (and not get paid for the overtime btw). I used to save my money and feel guilty about spending any money on myself and on the things that mattered to me because I was too busy saving to buy a house (which I do not have yet btw by choice). I was someone who wanted my friends to be happy, took on their problems, became overly available, and neglected my happiness in the process. Men would come and go, and I would put a lot of my energy into trying to “have a relationship” even though I always knew they weren’t the right men for me. The family was filled with obligations, guilt, and judgment, constantly. All that to say, I had a lot of expectations running amuck, and I was often highly disappointed, lost, and felt like I didn’t know who I was. People around me always seemed to have it all and have their shit together, and I often wondered, what was wrong with me? Why can’t I pick a job and stick with it, buy a home, marry a guy and have his babies and be “free.” That’s the wrong question to ask ourselves. The question to ask is, “What lesson am I learning from right now?”
The truth is, if you are someone who plays the comparing game, what you see on the outside on social media is NOT the full story. I know humans who made it seem like they were so happy online, but on the inside, they were terrified and had tough decisions to make for themselves that they were afraid to make because ultimately, their hearts were hurting. They were holding on to relationships and opportunities that no longer served them but there is all that messy stuff in between that keeps them there. (that messy stuff is an illusion)
My heart breaks for people who have potential and are not living the life they truly want because it feels like a distant dream. My heart also breaks for those that have no idea of the power they have and that once they leap faith, their life’s circumstances transform. Money and time is an illusion that holds us back. Coming from someone who decided to quit my job, spent my hard earned savings in developing my skills, hired a coach, and invested in my personal growth, believe me, the money will come. This is all to say very little to no money was coming through the door at that time for about 8 months.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s for everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously permit other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson
I’ve come up with six ways to find fulfillment: Note, each of these steps requires consistency and only then will your results of feeling “fulfilled” begin to feel like a reality.
Here we go..
1. What are my values? How do I live my life staying true to these values? ( I warn you, this may require massive changes in your life once you dig deep) For example, travel and adventure are tremendous values of mine, and if I go throughout the year with a little to no vacations away, I do not feel inspired or motivated. Instead, I feel depleted and irritated. Travel is very healing for me, and every time I leave my hometown, I come back with new perspectives and feel alive. I save my money each year specifically for travel and no longer feel guilty when I spend it.
2. What does my heart want? Click here to sign up for your free worksheet to help you figure out what your heart wants vs. your brain. I warn you, they are very different views 🙂
3. What is my life purpose? Click here to sign up for my free life purpose design worksheet which will help you uncover a life purpose.
4. What activities bring me joy?
5. Find the blessings in my current situation. The more you appreciate where you are at, the more good things come your way that you have been asking for all along.
6. Start deciding. This one I can’t stress enough. People are SO afraid to make decisions because they fear something terrible is going to happen, they don’t have enough time, enough money, enough experience, BLAH. They worry, and they spend so much energy thinking about the consequences of the decision, that they chose to stay the same. Not making a decision, is still a decision. I get it though. Fear has plagued me for years, however, once you take the first baby step, the fear begins to dissipate, and you start feeling confident instead. I help my clients by using a framework to develop confidence in themselves and live their lives with a new found power and magnetic pull.
I am up to big things. I am someone who is ready to share my story with the world and inspire other humans to be free of their expectations. I want people to know that there is a better way to live your life, and only YOU know what that looks like. Not what your parents told you, your elementary school teachers told you, your college/university professors told you, your friends told you, your exes told you, only you know. Once you access that inner wisdom within yourself, you need to follow that instead and be prepared to receive unsolicited opinions from others. Be ready to do it anyway because you are confident and you are free. You are not going to quit because your dreams are worth fighting for.
Until next time, xoxo Sonia