Alright, so we matched on Bumble. That doesn’t mean we are dating instantly.
OK, so you’re out there on these dating apps, attending social mixers, maybe some networking events to try something different. You are referred by people you know to meet that great guy or girl they know, so you meet them. People try to set you up at weddings, at bars, various parties, sporting events, and at work even (tread lightly in this playing field)
Everyone always knows another fantastic single person that is perfect for you. So you talk to this fantastic single person and find out you don’t like them.
A few things you need in the area of love is energy, skills and a great attitude. Here’s the first and foremost important thing you need to strengthen when you are active in the dating game. BOUNDARIES PEOPLE.
Boundaries are so crucial, especially in your dating life. We need them so desperately to survive and THRIVE in the modern dating world. We need a solid foundation of boundaries all over the place, but for this post, we need them in dating for sure!
We tend to drop everything just to meet up with a date. We tend to move our schedules just to go out on a date. Dating, at least in the beginning, should not be an exclusive event as a means for something to do on a Friday night. Like if I ask you what you are doing on a Saturday night and you say, “oh I just matched this guy on Tinder, so I’m going out on a first date that night, sorry can’t make it!” I find that problematic for you and your date. Don’t you have something else going on?
Here are some examples of where boundaries are needed:
He/She asks you to hang tomorrow, and you say yes. You know very little about this person (if anything) and have just “matched” on Bumble or Tinder
He/She messages you here and there on an app or through “text” and tell you the area they live, and they ask you to come near them for drinks, so you do all the while inconveniencing yourself majorly for the convenience of your date.
He/She messages you like crazy after you’ve matched telling you how excited they are to meet you only to find out you want completely different things.
You message them for a bit back and forth and decide to stop messaging them because you found out something you didn’t like, and they ask you why you ghosted them? Do I owe you a reason after messaging you for two days on and off? I haven’t even met you in real life yet. There is no emotional connection.
He/She says they’ll call you and later on sends you a text to call them instead at a specific time the next day because they managed to save a “bit of time,” but you never call.
Plenty of “hey baby, hey sexy” messages
Plenty of “hey send me a pic” messages
Plenty of “my ex used to do that” messages
Plenty of “that’s cool” texts
The amount of game playing in this area is utterly hilarious, and it takes a strong person to be able to find these things amusing instead of getting angry about it. It also takes someone with an insane amount of skill to navigate all the landmines you will encounter throughout the process of finding a healthy relationship if that is something you want. Trial and error friends.
Does it stop there? NO. I could go on and on with these sorts of scenarios.
I am launching a new video on my YouTube channel soon on how to set proper boundaries in dating. Stay tuned for it, because it’s going to be great 🙂
– xoxo, Sonia