You can try doing it on your own, but you don’t have to

Hi there and welcome 2018!

I decided not to write the official New Years post sharing what I learned and what I intend to do for 2018 because let’s face it, it’s overkill.

Instead, I wanted to write about the art of asking for help because I’ve thought a lot about this lately. People are afraid to ask for help in their career or personal lives.  I know tons of people who aren’t very good at this, and they have their reasons why they don’t ask for help. I used to be one of these people. I didn’t ask for help because I thought it made me look weak or it always came with an expectation of some sort, and it wasn’t worth it. So I didn’t ask for help, and I didn’t get the results I wanted for a long time. Building your team of supporters or “board of directors” to help you along this life journey is super important. It goes well beyond your family, partner/relationship, and friends.

I have been getting real curious about people, and I am seeing that there is some belief that is holding them back from growing in areas of their lives. It’s interesting to see how much we limit ourselves because of that THING or few things! I often hear people say, “oh when things settle down.” “when I finish this project, then I’ll do that thing.” ” I am already spending X amount of dollars, and I don’t have the money to invest in that right now.”  “My experience has been negative which means that I can’t do it because I will have the same result.” “I’m giving my partner X amount of time to show me their commitment to me because it’s too early.” Blah blah blah, excuses, excuses, excuses. We come with a list of excuses for why we can’t do something, or why it’s not the right time to spend the money and invest in ourselves, and we even give reasons for others to excuse certain behaviours. It’s a problem, indeed. Playing the waiting game wastes the time you have now and limits you from reaching your dreams and experiencing life in a new way.

We need to get better at asking for help because this is one strategy out of many that have contributed to my success in the past year (there you go, one for 2017!)

Here are some ideas:

1. Hire a Coach – at some point with the ever-changing workforce, lots of professionals will be seeking out a Coach to help create new ways to live their lives on purpose and fulfilled. You are in luck. I am a Leadership Coach and here is a link to my solo coaching programs and packages. If you are still not convinced, I invite you to read this recent blog post on why you should hire a Coach in 2018. Click here.
2. Look for a Mentor and ASK someone to Mentor you. A Mentor should be someone who is doing something you already want to be doing. Interview a few to get a sense of who you vibe with and trust.
3. Get curious about people and ask them how they got to be doing what they are doing now. One step further, ask them why! Developing these kinds of relationships will build your pipelines where you can access at any point for help.
4. If you are single, ask your peeps if they know of any cute single people you can date. Get out there and practice people! As a happily single woman, I am telling you, people need the practice. That goes for men and women. I have a coaching program for men specifically on dating. Click here to find out how we can work together.
5. Ask people in your network if they know of any job opportunities or volunteer opportunities and if they can refer you to someone to speak to about it.

Above all, go for no. Don’t expect people to say yes to you just because you asked. You may find most people will say no to you with a tiny few that can help you out and say yes to you. Learning from your rejections will help you in the future when you are asking for that raise or promotion as an example or in your sales conversations if you own a business.  Going for no and hearing no will build your confidence and strengthen your resiliency. Why do you need to do that? Because when people say YES to you, the possibilities and opportunities that come from that are now available to you. You’ll have the courage to have difficult conversations, quit your job, ask out that attractive person at the coffee shop and the Universe will respond to this new person you are in ways you never imagined.

“If you aren’t rejected often, you aren’t trying very hard.”

Schedule a complimentary coaching call with me if you are ready to change your life without excuses. Be vulnerable enough to trust me to get you where you want to be.

-Leadership Coach, Sonia Grossi

 

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