Why is this so hard for us to do? Do you say no to anything that feels less than spectacular? I can 100% bet that you aren’t. Let me explain why…
Have you ever left a meeting of some sort whether it’s in business, friendships, or even after a date and you left feeling confused, unsure, afraid? You can’t put your finger on it and if anything, this experience drained you rather than energized you. I know you’ve experienced this and I can bet that you overlooked this feeling and STILL proceeded to move forward even though your intuition & heart was telling you something completely different.
What does the heart know anyways? … Or maybe you are someone who is confused and is convincing yourself that it feels right, because of whatever experience that troubled you as a child, but in reality it really doesn’t feel right if you take some time to pay attention to your feelings. Like that guy you’ve been after for a year who still won’t commit… But he’s the one you say to everyone.
WRONG. Your intuition and heart are directly linked to your greater purpose in life, soul and anything and everything you are meant to create for yourself because we all have the power to do so. You have an inner compass for a reason and it sends you signals when something is off and sends you signals when it feels right.
Can you distinguish between the two? Start paying attention.
You come out of a interview and are unclear of what was asked or why they asked you certain questions. You felt like there was a little bit of tension between the panel or someone seemed like they were going to be a challenge for you to work with based on their personality or their energy. Maybe their energy was off, hostile and sour. You overlook these things because circumstances could impact a lot of things. Then a few days later, you get the job!
Now you are elated because you need the income so bad and you make the decision to take it because let’s face it, no one else is knocking on your door at the moment. However, then you proceed to find out that those signals during your interview were telling you that this may not be a right fit for you and you “should have” rejected the job offer. The salary isn’t even that good anyways.
Picture a different scenario for me:
How about when you go out on a first date and you leave the date feeling like this:
I don’t even know if I like him or what that was even about! Why did he ask me that question, that was odd and it caught me off guard. He asked me to pay for my portion of the bill, how romantic and gentlemanly of him on a first date. Maybe he thinks I prefer to be an independent woman so he’s doing me a favour. Yeah, some guys feel awkward when they pay for the whole bill in front of an independent woman so that’s definitely it. He just wanted to impress me. Either way you are turned off and yet you think there is still a chance for this to work, because you don’t have the energy to keep looking for Mr. Right and meeting someone else who could actually feel spectacular. Who has the whole package anyway? Not many people you know…
Then…. you get a text message the next day and he shares something you both discussed in the evening before which is really cute and ONLY because this person is giving you attention, you overlook all the signs, move forward, and turn it into a relationship. Only to realize that certain signals you were feeling were telling you that this person is not right for you, doesn’t really want the same things as you, has the emotional intelligence as a toddler, has a lot of baggage that they never dealt with and they want you to be the one to “fix them”. The relationship never really feels right nor is it ever spectacular. But seriously, who is going to be as nice and as good to you than the person you’re already with? You’re getting old and the options are getting slim to none. Oh and your biological clock might be ticking too. “tick tock”. Watch out for the big 3-0.
Something happens after a while when we keep doing these types of things to ourselves and to others. We feel stuck and we feel this was because now we’ve invested so much time and energy in this person or job and if we leave what are we left with? We have to start all over again.
Believe me when I say this that you are left with A LOT more than you think. We as complete and whole human beings have everything we need in the moment. We don’t need another course or another dating retreat or another Master’s Degree to do our best work or to find that ultimate relationship we are all seeking. What we need is to start paying attention to ourselves, figuring out who we are and what we want out of life. Identify our values. Figure out how we want to FEEL everyday and lean into that feeling. We need to raise our vibrational frequencies to attract other high frequency people and opportunities. Trust me…it works!
What makes us have low frequencies:
- Fear of survival or worrying about the future. Shame about the past or holding onto the past in some way.
- Limiting or false beliefs like scarcity, powerlessness or victimhood – I have no money is a big one for a lot of people when realistically they do have the money but they are operating out of scarcity, as if they will never have it again. This is why people do not invest in themselves and wonder why they can’t get ahead in life.
- Criticism and judgment of self and/or others.
- Feelings of unworthiness.
- Negative thinking.
- Not trusting yourself or the Universe.
How can we raise our frequencies:
- Saying NO to anything that feels less than spectacular.
- This is listening to your heart who knows what’s best and right for you based on WHO you ARE.
- Owning your Worth
- Letting Things Go
- Healing Past Events
- Master your Beliefs – this takes practice and time.
- Take Personal Responsibility – be a leader regardless of circumstances.
- Follow Your Inner Guidance
- Embrace Self-expression
And last but not least, Sweet Surrender
You are a beautiful evolving being and more often than not, evolution is a death and re-birthing process – the death of who you are not and the re-birth of who you really are. This means that it is necessary to surrender whatever no longer serves you or supports your highest good. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain.
What I’m doing about all this:
I’m practicing saying no to anything that feels less than spectacular. Let me tell you, it’s hard and I’ve already pissed people off in the process. However, I have more energy than ever before, I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do and I’m confident in myself by being a force of nature who does not care what others think. I’m helping others see their greatest potentials and to go after their dreams instead of settling for mediocrity. I train people to see something different, upgrade their skills, and be a powerhouse in their professional careers. I am building leaders in this world and am loving it. I trust myself more because I am paying attention to how I feel about people and make a decision quickly to keep going or let it go much faster than before AND I let these people know they are being let go in a positive and polite way. Saying no to anything that feels less than spectacular for me is a learning process because I’ve been conditioned to grab anything that comes my way. Let me tell you, I feel more confident in my decisions than ever before and I don’t waste time “thinking” about things that are not meant to be. Life is short and your life is worth WAY MORE than you’re giving yourself credit for. You feel me?
Be the change you wish to see in the world – Ghandi
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