I don’t like to look at things as good or bad anymore. Looking at life as either good or bad is based on perspective and there are plenty of lenses we can be wearing to see a different side to something. Watch Disney’s Wings of Life so you know what I mean by looking at life in different ways.
One thing I absolutely do not stand for in 2017 is leading people on or “dancing around”. I’m talking about leading people on with or in business, dating, friends, projects, clients for a few examples.
Leading on is when we are dishonest and are having difficulty making a decision because something is holding us back or we’ve already made the decision, are stuck in fear, and don’t have the courage to articulate it to another human being. Even though YES I am a millennial, I am also old school. I believe using a text message to convey you won’t be attending someone’s birthday is just plain ridiculous and cheap. Although sometimes we don’t even get that. #ghosted. Pick up the phone.
There is a solution to this plague. I say plague because this topic affects tons of people around the world. It affects us because the behaviour is confusing, disappointing and takes always our energy. Asking for what you want takes practice and can be learned, call it a skill if you will. Let’s stop the game playing immediately. I see this problem with my generation a lot unfortunately. Use of technology has made it easier to communicate, however, it’s affecting our relationships and not in a good way. That’s a whole other blog post.
Don’t beat around the bush or sugar coat your feelings. Tell the truth in a kind and respectful way. If there is something you don’t want to do, then say it. When you do, remove the expectation that the other person will understand where you’re coming from. Know that by saying what you want allows liberation to unfold. The person on the receiving end may not like it, however, at least you were being honest and that takes courage. Good on ya!
Recognize the signs when someone is leading you on. Trust, there are always red flags if you take a step back and observe them. Once you recognize the patterns, you’ll be able to nip it in the bud earlier rather than later if someone is playing a game or dancing (sort of speak).
Example, Person A says, “ Yes I’m totally onboard with that and I’ll give you a call tomorrow to talk about it!” Person A never calls. Person B gives Person A the benefit of the doubt. Person B follows up with a phone call and leaves a voicemail to reschedule. Rescheduling happens over and over again with excuse after excuse as to why these conversation aren’t happening. Person A is afraid. Person B just wants an answer. Person A shows signs of disrespect, commitment phone, and acts like a teenager who has a few things to learn about how to treat people.
Don’t worry Person B, I gotchu. Just know the signs, recognize, and do something about it. You teach others how to treat you.
Person A, just be honest. We’d really appreciate it, and person B might actually still like you for it.